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My opinion is that those negative feelings are just a way to cope with sadness and loss and if you feed them, they live inside you and ruin your own energy more than they ever impact your ex (or ex's new partner, etc). i'm getting divorced now and terrified he'll make trouble for ....i just think it ex and i are still friends. i broke up with him, but wasn't in a big hurry to move on or anything like that.